Teri Lawhorn's Page

"A young farm boy from Saskatchewan moved to Vancouver Island and went to a huge "everything under one roof department store" looking for a job. The Manager says, 'Do you have any sales experience?' The kid says, 'Yeah. I…"

"Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that…"

"There was a fly buzzing around a barn one day when he happened on a pile of fresh cow manure. Due to the fact that it had been hours since his last meal, he flew down and began to eat. He ate and ate and ate. Finally, he decided he had eaten…"

"Sitting together on a train was Obama, George Bush Jr., a little old lady, and a young blonde girl with large boobs. The train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later there is the sound of a loud slap. When the train emerges from the…"

"I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.. There was only one little thing bothering me ... It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was…"

"Olympic Condoms A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made. "Olympic condoms?" she asks, "What makes…"

"IRISH BIRTH CONTROL Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when She met up with Father Flaherty. The Father said, 'Top o' the mornin' To ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan And didn't I marry ye and…"

"EMBARRASSING MEDICAL EXAMS 1. A man comes into the ER and yells . . .' My wife's going to have her baby in the cab.' I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's Dress and began to take off her…"

"A man returns home a day early from a business trip. It's after midnight. While en route home he asks the cabby if he would be a witness. The man suspects his wife is having an affair and he wants to catch her in the act. For $100, the cabby…"

"Canadian Humor A man in an Arizona supermarket tries to buy a half a head of lettuce. The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce. The man persists and asks to see the manager. The boy says he'll ask…"

"1. The Japanese eat very little fat And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 3. The Chinese drink very little red wine And suffer fewer heart attacks than…"

"PREVENTING DISEASE Miss Bea was in her 80's and much admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. The pastor came to call on her one afternoon early in the Spring and she welcomed him into her Victorian parlor. She invited him to have a seat…"

"pastor, working on his sermon for Sunday service, decided to relate water skiing and the bible together for a remarkable outcome. Being very proud of his efferts, he ran it by his wife who agreed, it was great. Sunday came and she was unable to…"

"SAYING GOODBYE TO MOTHER We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and…"

"I found this beautiful winter poem and thought it might be a comfort to you. It was to me and it's very well written and I hope that you enjoy it too . ' WINTER ' by Abigail Elizabeth McIntyre S*** It's Cold The End"