Make me Laugh – Show me the FUNNY!

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Comment by Cissi Sherlock 23 hours ago

DINNER!

Comment by Cissi Sherlock 23 hours ago

THIS IS JUST WRONG
1

Comment by Cissi Sherlock 23 hours ago

No words can describe!!!!

NEED HE SAY MORE?

Comment by Cissi Sherlock 23 hours ago

OMG!
I didn't get this one when I first look at it...

Of course, I'm not BLONDE!

Comment by Cissi Sherlock 23 hours ago

Every ugly girl's New Year's wish!

Comment by Cissi Sherlock 23 hours ago

This was just tooooo funny. Look at the look on the big dogs face! It's like he's saying "Awwww, come on now! You've got to be kidding me! Come on, kid. give me a break!"

Comment by Cissi Sherlock 1 day ago

Comment by Cissi Sherlock 1 day ago

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

Comment by Cissi Sherlock 1 day ago

Life has been pure hell without a computer. Just got my tower back and tghe first thing I did was peruse the net to find more funny stuff for my peeps!

Let's start with this!!!!!!!!!!!!! amply titled "The people of WalMart"

Comment by Cissi Sherlock on November 21, 2009 at 4:13pm

TRUE, BUT TAKE HEED...

THINGS YOUR BURGLAR WON'T TELL YOU:


1. Of course I look familiar. I was here just last week cleaning your
carpets, painting your shutters, or delivering your new refrigerator.

2. Hey, thanks for letting me use the bathroom when I was working in your yard last week. While I
was in there, I unlatched the back window to make my return a little easier.

3. Love those flowers. That tells me you have e taste ... and taste means there are nice things
inside. Those yard toys your kids leave out always make me wonder what type of
gaming system they have.

4. Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on the driveway. And I might leave a pizza flyer in
your front door to see how long it takes you to remove it.

5. If it snows while you're out of town, get a neighbor to create car and foot
tracks into the house. Virgin drifts in the driveway are a dead giveaway.

6. If decorative glass is part of your front entrance, don't let your alarm company install the
control pad where I can see if it's set. That makes it too easy.

7. A good security company alarms the window over the sink. And the windows on the
second floor, which often access the master bedroom-and your jewelry. It's not a bad idea to put motion detectors up there too.

8. It's raining, you're fumbling with your umbrella, and you forget to lock your door-understandable. But understand this: I don't take a day off because of bad weather.

9. I always knock first. If you answer, I'll ask for directions somewhere or offer to clean your gutters. (Don't take me up on it.)

10. Do you really think I won't look in your sock drawer? I always check dresser drawers, the bedside
table, and the medicine cabinet.

11. Here's a helpful hint: I almost never go into kids' rooms.

12. You're right: I won't have enough time to break into that safe where
you keep your valuables. But if it's not bolted down, I'll take it with me.

13. A loud TV or radio can be a better deterrent than the best alarm
system. If you're reluctant to leave your TV on while you're out of
town, you can buy a $35 device that works on a timer and simulates the
flickering glow of a real television. (Find it at faketv.com.)

8 MORE THINGS A BURGLAR WON'T TELL YOU:

1. Sometimes, I carry a clipboard. Sometimes, I dress like a lawn guy and carry a rake. I do my
best to never, ever look like a crook.

2. The two things I hate most: loud dogs and nosy neighbors.

3. I'll break a window to get in, even if it makes a little noise. If your neighbor
hears one loud sound, he'll stop what he's doing and wait to hear it again.
If he doesn't hear it again, he'll just go back to what he was doing. It's
human nature.

4. I'm not complaining, but why would you pay all that money for a fancy alarm system and leave your
house without setting it?

5. I love looking in your windows. I'm looking for signs that you're home, and for flat screen
TVs or gaming systems I'd like. I'll drive or walk through your neighborhood at night, before you close the blinds, just to pick my targets.

6. Avoid announcing your vacation on your Facebook page. It's easier than you think to look up
your address.

7. To you, leaving that window open just a crack during the day is a way to let in a little fresh
air. To me, it's an invitation.

8. If you don't answer when I knock, I try the door. Occasionally, I hit the jackpot and walk right in.

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